The C.E.O. Handbook Is The Worst Business Handbook I’ve Ever See

The C.E.O. Handbook Is The Worst Business Handbook I've Ever See

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In an interview with NPR, C.E.O. Sean Rad toted a copy of the new C.E.O. Handbook (PDF) that I can’t find. Why? Because the only reason I don’t have a copy is because Sean is busy.

It’s also, frankly, the most boring business handbook I’ve ever seen. It’s more like a binder or a folder with a bunch of different stuff in it, a smallish binder, but a binder nonetheless. The front cover and first half of the booklet is filled with all sorts of photos of the C.E.O.’s in various states of dress and grooming, taken on the C.E.O. side of things. (The photos of the C.E.O. at work are of him with his hair in a buzz cut and wearing the ubiquitous suit that C.E.O. are said to dress.) Then it’s on to the business stuff, including descriptions of some of the company’s most popular products like the “” iPhone app, dating social network Tango, and their new app for mobile payments, Square.

The second half of the booklet has a bunch of charts and charts of revenue, profit margins, gross profits, net profits, and the company’s overall state of health. It could be one of those boring business handbooks that a company keeps around so you can read it while you’re busy talking on the phone, but in case you can’t bear to read them, here are some of the charts I would like to see broken down:

• Annual gross profit growth

• Annual net profit growth

• Average annual net profit growth

• Percentage of revenues that come from outside of Texas

• Annual revenues by state of company operations

• Average annual revenues

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